The moment quarantine got decidedly thirstier? About 6.40pm two Mondays ago, when Devil Wears Prada star Stanley Tucci dropped a clip of himself making a Negroni for his wife Felicity Blunt on Instagram.
“This is the most erotic thing in the world,” viewers salivated on Twitter as a smartly dressed Tucci slammed, sipped and shaked his perfectly named quaran-tucci to a soundtrack of soft jazz. “I want Stanley Tucci to manhandle me the way he slams down his cocktail ingredients,” wrote another. Whether he intended it or not, the Oscar-nominated actor had just become the most sought-after bartender of global quarantine.
The downside? You have to wait a whole week until the next one. Tucci is thirst-trapping the world by limiting his masterclasses to every Monday, but the good news is he’s not the only star moonlighting as a bartender while Hollywood is on pause. From Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s mean margaritas to Salma Hayek’s spirited super-juices, take a stool at the starriest bar in town.
The lowdown: “During a crisis, cocktail hour is almost any hour,” smiles the American cooking host, queen of the it’s-five-o’clock-somewhere philosophy, as she pours herself a head-sized Cosmopolitan in her Hamptons kitchen at 9.30am. “How easy is this?” she laughs, instructing viewers to shake their concoction for 30 seconds, which shouldn’t be a problem as they have “lots of time” at the moment. Her main advice? “You need a big pitcher. You never know who’s going to stop by! No wait a minute, nobody’s stopping.”
Signature tipple: Cosmopolitan
Bartender’s tip: Size matters. Garten insists only a giant martini glass will do
Ideal audience: The Carrie Bradshaw wannabes who like a drink before lunch
Stream it now: @inagarten
The lowdown: Hayek’s home tutorial generously reveals a less glamorous side to celebrity cocktail-making: the Mexican-American actress includes a bloopers section documenting her struggles to put the lid on the blender, wardrobe malfunctions, and naming dilemmas. Is it a cocktail-slash-smoothie or a smoothie-slash-cocktail? Hayek isn’t sure, but she is sure it’s good for you. “It’s packed with Vitamin C,” she tells viewers, overlaying her video with ingredient emojis and tips on the digestive properties of ginger and mint. “It not only contains properties to get you happy or relaxed, but also the agave plant,” she says of her hero ingredient mezcal, the national spirit of Mexico. “It has the same amount of calories as tequila, which is not a lot!”
Signature tipple: The vitamin C cocktail
Bartender’s tip: Don’t forget to add lemon for flavour and vitamins (Hayek admits she missed it from her video)
Ideal audience: The wellness warrior who likes an extra kick
Stream it now: @salmahayek
The lowdown: The Jumanji star might be busy plugging his new tequila line, Teremana, which launched just before Covid hit, but you can make his signature quarantina cocktail with any tequila from your lockdown larder just in time for tonight’s Cinco de Mayo celebrations. Follow Johnson’s Instagram for recipe tips, mixology masterclasses (and pandemic pep-talks), and his entertaining attempts at tequila-fuelled singing.
Signature tipple: The People’s Margarita
Bartender’s tip: Tastes best with French toast smothered in peanut butter, jelly and maple syrup.
Ideal audience: The gym-bro who thinks cocktails are for girls
Stream it now: @therock
The lowdown: Prize for the sexiest cocktail tutorial of all time of course goes to Tucci, who managed to turn simple Negroni-making into an erotic art form with last month’s masterclass. “How does he make Negroni-making so hot?” viewers asked Twitter. The devil lies in the actor’s attention to detail: the tight polo shirt, the soft background music, the way he “mhm”s and looks conspiratorially into the camera as though you’re there on a date with him. Tucci might not be a mixology master (he’s since been reprimanded for shaking his Negroni) but his tutorial is proof that credibility is all in the delivery: the way he confidently bangs the cocktail shaker against the counter makes you drink up every word he says. Check out the following week’s martini masterclass featuring Ryan Reynolds’s (“or is it Gosling’s?”) Aviation Gin.
Signature tipple: Negroni
Bartender’s tip: Try your Negroni off the rocks for a change (and by shot he means double shot, naturally)
Ideal audience: Literally anybody: your mum, your grandma, your gay best friend or your husband
Stream it now: @stanleytucci every Monday
The lowdown: His Camden and Kentish Town bars might be (temporarily) closed, but his home bar is open: Ladies and Gentlemen founder (and Johnny Borrell’s brother) has a daily cocktail series that’s all about what’s in your kitchen cabinet. DIY daquiris using Ribena; espresso martinis using Tesco vodka and chocolate scraped off his favourite biscuits. Those cinnamon sticks from two Christmases ago? Throw them in. That Keepcup gathering dust on your shelf? Use it as a shaker. “A jam jar, a Thermos flask,” are other suggestions.
Signature tipple: Espresso martini
Bartender’s tip: If you don’t have the ingredients at home, you can order Ladies and Gentlemen’s cocktails on Deliveroo
Ideal audience: The Londoner who misses their neighbourhood speakeasy
Stream it now: @ladiesandgentlemenbar (every day at 4pm)
The lowdown: Creator of Freaks & Geeks Paul Feig is certainly geeky about his cocktails. Together with his wife Laurie, the Ghostbusters director has committed to streaming a new mixology masterclass every day through lockdown from their home in Burbank, California. Feig famously wears a three-piece suit to walk the dog (fittingly named G-buster) so naturally, he and his wife dress up for the occasion: leather jackets and shades for Seventies Saturday; sheets (over suits) for Ghostbusters night.
Their outfits might be serious but their tutorials, thankfully, are not: Feig describes himself as “your favourite drunk uncle trying to be your idiot tour guide through a little bit of downtime” and the couple finish each masterclass with a dance around their kitchen. Film-fanatics: tune in for themed episodes and Feig’s shout-outs to famous pals.
Signature tipple: The Ghostbusters
Bartender’s tip: There’s always room to dance, even in your kitchen
Ideal audience: The dapper lockdown dresser who still wears a suit for Zoom calls
Stream it now: @paulfeig every day at midnight (or at a more sociable time on his feed the next day).